Today we thought we'd go a little lighter and post some of our favourite accessories. The great thing about African prints is that there is one for everyone, whether you are a formal type of person, or an artist, a simple and laid back kind of person or a trendsetter, there is one for you!!! These accessories, bags & shoes are great enhancers!!! I know you'll enjoy this one! P.S Remember to catch us on Twitter @MakotiBride and Facebook: Makoti - The African Bride! #Enjoy
Umakwapeni, the side chick So it seems to have become custom infact a ‘must’ for the average successful black (may I say married) man to have a handbag, and no I do not mean a man-bag that they carry for convenience, I mean a human handbag. One with long curly fake Brazilian hair, fake nails, fake lashes, make-up, wears a size 0 and can booty hop her way into tearing a marriage apart! The other woman, uMakwapeni, Skaftini, sidechick, yes her, the mistress! Why is it that men find it so appealing to have what is forbidden, and even worse, sometimes they don’t even strive to hide their affairs from their wives, some even go as far as blaming it on the wife? Is it perhaps a need for power, self-validation, acceptance, fulfilment of desires? No! This is because we women allow it. We have come to raise up a society of young girls who lack so much self and inner confidence that they think that the only way to a meal ticket is through a man (yes, the wife and the skaftini). We have raised a generation of young women, who fail to keep their homes in check, respecting themselves, respecting their marriages, respecting their men, respecting other people’s marriages – and we wonder why our world is so messed up! When a woman reaches a certain age, we ask them when are they getting married… leading them back to my first article on Monday, settling for whomever they are with, whether or not the question of marriage readiness has been posed. We fall into a marriage we hate, we become uncomfortable and the results begin to show in our physique, our behaviour and ultimately our marriage bed! We fail to place boundaries and value upon ourselves, ever wondered what happened to the Proverbs 31 woman? Her husband also, he praises her (Proverbs 31:28). How is your husband praising you by running around with a Beyonce wanna be? Back to uMakwapeni, I remember an old friend (now wife) once said that she would rather much be a Makwapeni than a main chick. I have for years pondered on that, yet this is my conclusion: The issue began with the loss of self-esteem. We want to have what we believe is not ours to keep because subconsciously we believe that we are not deserving of owning it. We have been so tainted by our experiences that we try so hard to hide the wounds inside and grab the closest thing to make ourselves feel better, yet leaving safety room in case of failure – it is easier to lie and say, “he was never myne to begin with”, than go through the appropriate stages of loss, learning and growing from them, we never fail it’s always a lesson learned! Makwapeni, let’s call a spade a spade, you are bartering your ‘services’ for goods and cash. Makwapeni why are you defiling the marriage bed, why are you breaking families apart? Do you know that you too will be a wife one-day? Makwapeni, he will never leave his wife for your 20% and if he does, he will definitely leave again for an 80. Makwapeni, what happened to you, I ask because I am sure you didn’t grow up wishing to be a side chick. We all want to be mainchicks, thus I ask, what distorted your vision? I am by no means judging you, I feel compassion because your healing, means happier homes. Loyal, committed husbands and fathers. I urge to seek and accept all the help you need and when you do, go back to my first article in search for your purpose. What you are doing to those kids whose time you are stealing, will lead them to modelling your behaviour and we know that we don’t need that. Please, gain a bit of self-respect, self-worth and self-esteem, perhaps a little education may get you the goods and cash! What profits it you to gain someone’s husband and lose your soul? Why keep hurting yourself, you know his heart is with his family, one which you tearing apart. We know our men are weak toe, but if you gain some standards, we’ll have less cheating in the world! With many textures and colours, Africa is rich in culture, heritage and diversity! In this day where most marriages are intercultural, it is not always easy to agree on bridesmaids wear! We picked up cross-cultural outfits which are trending! You decide and let us know which one you like best! Enjoy!!!
Ever so often as a single woman, looking at married friends, colleagues and bretheren its easy to find yourself wishfully drifting away and day dreaming about your big day, the day you have yours for life... It has however come to my attention that a large number of married women (emphasis on women), would rather much have remained single, and many wish to obtain"freedom" but have the inability to leave, with the number one reason being lack of adequate financial resources; I have a different view on that which I will discuss later, firstly I thought to go back to the drawing board and sum up what constitutes to a great foundation that ultimately results in a Holy Matrimonial, as God originally designed this marriage thing! Here's what I found: Waiting and dating - Myles Munroe I recently wrapped up reading a book by the late Dr Myles Munroe. The book focused on shaping yourself in preparation for your future spouse. This I found, led to a question that many people, in my opinion phase from asking themselves, if at all they even think it - AM I MARRIAGE READY? society has created certain cultural norms, and part of these is that as a woman, you NEED to be married at a specific age, irrespective of your position at the time. Being unmarried is a sign of failure, they have even go As far as creating terms known as "Lefetwa" I'm Sepedi. Waiting and dating suggests the following: - We are all here, on the earth for a specific purpose - Each person's purpose, has nothing to do with any other person - Understand what your divine purpose is - Once you understand your purpose, step into it and focus on it - This will help you understand who you are & what you are here for, ultimately allowing you to decide whom and what you let into your life The book further suggests that finding your life partner would never direct you off course, instead he/she will be more or less on the same point of your journey thus never distracting each other, instead moving along together Intimacy corrupted - the book suggests that the fall begins at rescrambling the building blocks, confusing intimacy with sexual interaction. True and absolute intimacy is found in a friendship that has no boarderlines, that encourages oness and fuses two souls into one, once you intoduce sex before this is reached, it causes instability in the chain, as with Adam & Eve. They became ashamed and made clothes to cover their private areas immediately after disenaging the chain and disobeying God! In essence, we cannot take a spiritual thing (marriage) and confine it to wordly standards (disobedience). I earlier mentioned that I disagree with women subjecting themselves to remaining, due to financial restriction. It is not, in my opinion as much financial restriction, as it is one, losing your lifestyle (moving back home), two lack of self worth (what will they say ) and three sacrifising yourself (failure to learn your purpose). I am by no means encouraging a split, but rather than distorting and trampling what is considered sacred I would rather go back (or in my case remain) to the drawing board than be someone I used to wish to NOT be. The second biggest reason is for the sake of my kids, research has shown that kids are more aware and sensitive to tension and other unhealthy emotions. My suggestion To single (soon to be and hope to be married) women Get so busy with your purpose that God will have to interrupt you to bring someone in your life (He had to put Adam to sleep) Gain some standards and do not compromise your beliefs (you may have to view a million toads before getting one to kiss) Take your time dating (don't jump into relationship mode), spend months in the friendship zone deciding wether he is a fit or not for a relationship When you eventually date understand his intentions and let him commit by action Reach true intimacy and save the cookie for marriage (if he leaves he wasn't going to stay anyways) Married sisters Be your man's friend, not mother Remain true to yourself in a humble and submissive manner Keep it looking good, take care of yourself Develop boundaries Pray with and for your man Keep the scale balanced, whether you make money or not, a man needs to be the provider Encourage and support your man, he is fragile Because a lot happens and you find yourself secretly despising your man and gone beyond the point of internal forgiveness, I often suggest to my spiritual sisters a weekend retreat, alonecor with your husband at a serene place in Honeydew. The place is called Fisherman's village, it offers courses which allow you to offload all you have been carrying within you from childhood (I suggest its effective method because I have been there myself). You are given a manual upon arrive and throughout the weekend you write everything on it, which after every session you tear off into a burning bucket, symbolic of leaving it behind. In other words, no one gets to see anything you write. I have seen couples on the verge of divorce being restored! I dream of the marriage I always have as a child, not perfect but close to it. I refuse to settle for anything less, my peace and sanity is way more treasurable that a nine carat ring with the title mrs, I am first and most accountable tothe living God before I am to anyone else, my purpose is thus of the essence I need one who can and will support, not diminish it and I too am prepared to play the same role, until then I keep viewing the toads. I'm too precious to be wasted! It is with great pleasure that we announce the official blog of Makoti - The African Bride. We know that you have all been eagerly awaiting the launch of this precious baby and we thank you for your support! However we have come to fully agree with what they say perfection takes time! After months of deliberating how to go about offering you the very best and feeding you what you actually require, we decided to set-up this blog to interact and get personal, whilst offering you the opportunity to subscribe for your own exclusive monthly copy of Makoti - The African Bride! This blog opens up a platform to engage with like minded individuals, who are "far-off" from your inner circle, thereby presenting the opportunity for you to be free to bring up and talk about that which is close to your heart! On that note, we promise to keep you: - informed with relevant current affairs, - educated on all matters concerning your looove affair and - entertained, to offer you a temporary escape What you can expect (not limited to): - Celebrity spotting - Celebrity interviews - Latest African fashions - Latest African designs - Business opportunities for women - Lifestyle & travel feature - Relevant events - Diary sessions (motivation and support) - Fitness, Beauty and Health You can expect different articles to be published by different writers, this blog will however be edited by Lele Khumalo with the support of Penny Moemi. Keep in touch on our Facebook, Twitter & Instagram pages! Phone us on 012 771 6944 or email us: [email protected] We look forward to engaging with you! God bless xoxo |
afrikan makoti mediaAfrikan Makoti Media is the official publisher of Makoti - The African Bride ISSN 2313-3260. To subscribe for your personal copy, email us on [email protected] Articles
September 2015
|