Umakwapeni, the side chick
So it seems to have become custom infact a ‘must’ for the average successful black (may I say married) man to have a handbag, and no I do not mean a man-bag that they carry for convenience, I mean a human handbag. One with long curly fake Brazilian hair, fake nails, fake lashes, make-up, wears a size 0 and can booty hop her way into tearing a marriage apart!
The other woman, uMakwapeni, Skaftini, sidechick, yes her, the mistress!
Why is it that men find it so appealing to have what is forbidden, and even worse, sometimes they don’t even strive to hide their affairs from their wives, some even go as far as blaming it on the wife? Is it perhaps a need for power, self-validation, acceptance, fulfilment of desires? No! This is because we women allow it. We have come to raise up a society of young girls who lack so much self and inner confidence that they think that the only way to a meal ticket is through a man (yes, the wife and the skaftini). We have raised a generation of young women, who fail to keep their homes in check, respecting themselves, respecting their marriages, respecting their men, respecting other people’s marriages – and we wonder why our world is so messed up!
When a woman reaches a certain age, we ask them when are they getting married… leading them back to my first article on Monday, settling for whomever they are with, whether or not the question of marriage readiness has been posed. We fall into a marriage we hate, we become uncomfortable and the results begin to show in our physique, our behaviour and ultimately our marriage bed! We fail to place boundaries and value upon ourselves, ever wondered what happened to the Proverbs 31 woman? Her husband also, he praises her (Proverbs 31:28). How is your husband praising you by running around with a Beyonce wanna be?
Back to uMakwapeni, I remember an old friend (now wife) once said that she would rather much be a Makwapeni than a main chick. I have for years pondered on that, yet this is my conclusion: The issue began with the loss of self-esteem. We want to have what we believe is not ours to keep because subconsciously we believe that we are not deserving of owning it. We have been so tainted by our experiences that we try so hard to hide the wounds inside and grab the closest thing to make ourselves feel better, yet leaving safety room in case of failure – it is easier to lie and say, “he was never myne to begin with”, than go through the appropriate stages of loss, learning and growing from them, we never fail it’s always a lesson learned!
Makwapeni, let’s call a spade a spade, you are bartering your ‘services’ for goods and cash. Makwapeni why are you defiling the marriage bed, why are you breaking families apart? Do you know that you too will be a wife one-day? Makwapeni, he will never leave his wife for your 20% and if he does, he will definitely leave again for an 80. Makwapeni, what happened to you, I ask because I am sure you didn’t grow up wishing to be a side chick. We all want to be mainchicks, thus I ask, what distorted your vision?
I am by no means judging you, I feel compassion because your healing, means happier homes. Loyal, committed husbands and fathers. I urge to seek and accept all the help you need and when you do, go back to my first article in search for your purpose. What you are doing to those kids whose time you are stealing, will lead them to modelling your behaviour and we know that we don’t need that. Please, gain a bit of self-respect, self-worth and self-esteem, perhaps a little education may get you the goods and cash! What profits it you to gain someone’s husband and lose your soul? Why keep hurting yourself, you know his heart is with his family, one which you tearing apart. We know our men are weak toe, but if you gain some standards, we’ll have less cheating in the world!
So it seems to have become custom infact a ‘must’ for the average successful black (may I say married) man to have a handbag, and no I do not mean a man-bag that they carry for convenience, I mean a human handbag. One with long curly fake Brazilian hair, fake nails, fake lashes, make-up, wears a size 0 and can booty hop her way into tearing a marriage apart!
The other woman, uMakwapeni, Skaftini, sidechick, yes her, the mistress!
Why is it that men find it so appealing to have what is forbidden, and even worse, sometimes they don’t even strive to hide their affairs from their wives, some even go as far as blaming it on the wife? Is it perhaps a need for power, self-validation, acceptance, fulfilment of desires? No! This is because we women allow it. We have come to raise up a society of young girls who lack so much self and inner confidence that they think that the only way to a meal ticket is through a man (yes, the wife and the skaftini). We have raised a generation of young women, who fail to keep their homes in check, respecting themselves, respecting their marriages, respecting their men, respecting other people’s marriages – and we wonder why our world is so messed up!
When a woman reaches a certain age, we ask them when are they getting married… leading them back to my first article on Monday, settling for whomever they are with, whether or not the question of marriage readiness has been posed. We fall into a marriage we hate, we become uncomfortable and the results begin to show in our physique, our behaviour and ultimately our marriage bed! We fail to place boundaries and value upon ourselves, ever wondered what happened to the Proverbs 31 woman? Her husband also, he praises her (Proverbs 31:28). How is your husband praising you by running around with a Beyonce wanna be?
Back to uMakwapeni, I remember an old friend (now wife) once said that she would rather much be a Makwapeni than a main chick. I have for years pondered on that, yet this is my conclusion: The issue began with the loss of self-esteem. We want to have what we believe is not ours to keep because subconsciously we believe that we are not deserving of owning it. We have been so tainted by our experiences that we try so hard to hide the wounds inside and grab the closest thing to make ourselves feel better, yet leaving safety room in case of failure – it is easier to lie and say, “he was never myne to begin with”, than go through the appropriate stages of loss, learning and growing from them, we never fail it’s always a lesson learned!
Makwapeni, let’s call a spade a spade, you are bartering your ‘services’ for goods and cash. Makwapeni why are you defiling the marriage bed, why are you breaking families apart? Do you know that you too will be a wife one-day? Makwapeni, he will never leave his wife for your 20% and if he does, he will definitely leave again for an 80. Makwapeni, what happened to you, I ask because I am sure you didn’t grow up wishing to be a side chick. We all want to be mainchicks, thus I ask, what distorted your vision?
I am by no means judging you, I feel compassion because your healing, means happier homes. Loyal, committed husbands and fathers. I urge to seek and accept all the help you need and when you do, go back to my first article in search for your purpose. What you are doing to those kids whose time you are stealing, will lead them to modelling your behaviour and we know that we don’t need that. Please, gain a bit of self-respect, self-worth and self-esteem, perhaps a little education may get you the goods and cash! What profits it you to gain someone’s husband and lose your soul? Why keep hurting yourself, you know his heart is with his family, one which you tearing apart. We know our men are weak toe, but if you gain some standards, we’ll have less cheating in the world!